100 Funny Pick Up Lines

Below are top 100 funniest and hilarious pick up lines which can be said to your friends, girlfriend or boyfriend and even can be shared to Facebook, Whatsapp and Twitter for making people laugh.

I just wanna let you know how beautiful you are and was wondering if you could buy me a drink?

Do I know you? Cause you look just like my next girlfriend.

Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

Do you have a name or can I call you mine?

She: I’m in a relationship | You: Let’s talk about how we can get you out of that.

Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes] Take me home with you.

My mom thinks I`m gay, can you help me prove her wrong?

Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material.

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants!

You are hotter than the bottom of my laptop.

Damn Girl, your ass is bigger than my future!

Are you a vampire? Cause you looked a little thirsty when you looked at me.

Here’s $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.

Go between two black girls and say “Let’s make an Orio!”

Nice hair, wanna mess it up?

Are you religios? Cause you’re the answer to all my prayers.

Excuse me, I’ve seem to have lost my virginity, can I have yours?

I’m in a Boyband called Wrong Direction.

Excuse me. I’m from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I’m going to have to ask you to assume the position.

Your body is 75% water, and I’m thirsty.

F**k me if I am wrong, but haven’t we met before?

Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else.

F**k me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don’t you?

Your place or mine? Tell you what? I’ll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.

F**k me if i’m wrong but isn’t your name Gretchen?

Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.

F**k me if I’m wrong, but don’t you want to kiss me?

You’re like my own personal brand of heroin.

Excuse me, I’m a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?

You make me wish I weren’t gay!

Don’t you think most people who use pick-up lines are dipsticks? (Yes.) In that case, mind if I check your oil level?

You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

Hey. My friends wanted me to come over here and ask you if they were fake. Can I sqeeze them to find out?

You say, “So, did you here the one about the guy and the girl who had the most sexual relationship?” The reply, “No”. You respond, “Well then, let’s go to my place and I’ll tell you all about it.”

If I washed my dick, would you suck it? (No.) Oh, so you like to suck dirty dicks

You should stop drinking! (Why?) Because you are driving me home.

Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

You might be asked to leave soon. You are making the other women look bad.

You like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometime.

Excuse me, I just shit in my pants. Can I get in yours?

You like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometime.

I’d marry your cat just to get in the family.

You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.

I only have 12 hours to live… please don’t let me die a virgin.

What is your favorite color? [Color] Mine too! Seems like we are soulmates.

I have a rare disease that will kill me unless I have sex within the next 30 minutes. Don’t let me die!

What size shoe you wear babygirl? I’m gonna guess size sexy!

How much does a polar bear weigh? [How much?] Enough to break the ice… Hi, I’m (insert name here).

What’s that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it’s not coming off!

I am participating in the Sexual Olympics multiple orgasm relay race my partner just died of exhaustion. Would you like to help me out?

What’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I don’t have a Ferrari.

Hey… somebody farted. Let’s get out of here.

Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?

Hi, did your license get suspended for driving all these guys crazy?

Will you be my girlfrien? I left out the ‘d’ cause you’ll get that later!

Hi, I’m gay. Do you think you can convert me?

With great penis, comes great responsibility.

Hi, sorry I don’t have an opening line but since you have an opening and I have a line. . .

With my IQ and your body, we could make a race of superchildren!

Hey baby. Why don’t you come sit on my lap and we can talk about the first thing that pops up?

Would you like Gin and platonic, or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?

Hey so you want to see some magic? You and I will go to your place have sex and I’ll disappear in the morning.

What is a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?

Hey baby you’re so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what’s your name?

Want to play lion? (She asks, “What’s that?”) That’s where you get down on all fours and growl like a lion while I feed you the meat!

Hey Baby, you want to come to my house and work on your math skills? We can add the bed, subtract the cloths, divide the legs and multiply!

What has 36 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.

Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?

The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name.

He: Would you sleep with me for 20 million dollars? She (sheepishly): Yes. He: Well then, would you sleep with me for 20 cents? She: No, what kind of woman do you think I am? He: We’ve established what kind of woman that you are, we’re just haggling over the price.

This may seem corny, but you make me really horny.

Love is a sensation; caused by a temptation; to feel penetration; a guy sticks his location; in a girl’s destination; to increase the population; for the next generation; did you get my explanation; or do you need a demonstration?

Tickle your pussy with a feather? (What?) I said, “Particularly nice weather.”

Let’s make out so I can see if you taste as good as you look!

WAIT, don’t drink that. Don’t you know that makes your chest grow to twice its normal size? Oh, I’m sorry. I guess it’s too late.

Kissing is a language of love….so how about a conversation?

Smile. It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Let’s go to my place and do the things I’ll tell everyone we did anyway.

So, come back to my place, and if you don’t like it I swear I’ll give you a full refund.

I’ve been wondering, do your lips taste as good as they look?

Somebody call the cops, because it’s got to be illegal to look that good!

I’m sorry, were you talking to me? [No] Well then, please start.

Sorry, but you owe me a drink. [Why?] Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine.

I’m the kind of man who deserves to have women I don’t deserve.

Can you tell me how my cum tastes?

Is your dad a terrorist? Because you are the bomb.

See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m cute.

I’m fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

On a scale of 1 to 10, you’re a 9. I’m the 1 you need.

I’m not actually this tall. I’m sitting on my wallet.

Our break-up is worse than traffic in NY. I cant move-on!

If you were a transformer, you’d be a HOT-obot, and your name would be Optimus Fine.

Please tell your tits to stop looking at my eyes.

If I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

Save water, shower with a friend!

If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning.

I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you. (kiss her) oh.. seems like I lost the bet.